Back to the Basics

Bruno Bord

2009-10-24 - LRL'09

Internet with steampunk

• series of tubes
• steamail
• too hot
• segway to pidgeons

Pidgeons

• reliable, cheap (grains)
• can't carry heavy stuff
• 140 chars.
• swallows.

communication == spam

• communication, hence spam
• spam, hence counter spam
• hunters

INTERLUDE

POISONING PIDGEONS IN THE PARK

All the world seems in tune in the sunny afternoon, when we poison the
pidgeons in the park

-- Tom Lehrer

Middle-age

• middle-age is more fun
• no science, hence no real truth
• earth as disc, square (AQ AND JONO)
• minstrels and DRMs

First computers

• first big improvement: screen.
• second big improvement: keyboard.
• third one: copy-paste
• imagine a day without copy-paste

What was the point?

• "name of the rose" who read it?
• "name of the rose" as benzodiazepine

What was the point, again?

• "name of the rose", monks
• how their work be with copy-paste
• segway: The Bible

I'm just having a great idea

• "Pulp Fiction" remake
• Eric Raymond as Vince Vega
• RMS as Jules

The monologue

The path of the righteous hacker is beset on all sides by the inequities of proprietary, and the tyranny of Microsoft. Blessed is he, who in the name of freedom and goodness, shepherds the n00b thru the valley of darkness, for he is truly his user's keeper and the finder of lost source code. And I will strike down upon thee with GPL and furious Affero GPL those who attempt to poison and destroy my projects with proprietary-licensed materials. And you will know my name is the GNU when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

Back to the point

• the point was monks and copy-paste
• way before the invention of printing.
• segway to romans

Romans

• Stone-carving
• Taking ages to write
• Very heavy (don't tell me about attached files)

up to ROT13

• ROT13 is Caesar's invention
• before, breaking into pieces
• hard to decrypt
• Asterix and Obelix

Cavemen

• less problems, used to "Direct messages"
• Hi, bob, hi bill
• UGH/OGH

FUTURE

FUTURE WILL BE FUN

• technological singularity
• explain it
• general Ctrl-Alt-Delete

One program

• only one kernel (not GNU/Hurd)
• one program
• find Sarah Connor and kill her

Darwinian selection

• the one who'll survive: fittest
• mix of DNA and machine
• beyond human

More optimistic

• instead of 10%, maybe use 20, 50... 100
• have a cooling system

More intelligent

• stop wars, crimes, racism, hate...
• Start being smart
• nah. Stop drugs.

telepathy

• la belle verte
• fantastic way to communicate
• oooops... spam.

Pessimistic version

• most probably stupid
• unpolite, selfish, short-minded, ranting all the time...
• speaking a strange tongue
• Being French?